Pathway to Peace - Day Three – Grief

Pathway to Peace - Day Three – Grief

No matter how many tears you cry, grief will take a stronghold on your mind. It will set up camp in your head and threaten, like a cancer, to spread to other parts of your existence. Grief by definition is, "keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow” *

Until you have experienced this for yourself, you really don’t understand the deep anguish your soul feels in the midst of grief. I found myself in a large, deep hole. The hole was dark, lonely, and very confusing. Even though I had many friends and family holding my hand, somehow I felt mentally separated from their comfort. It is grief that causes you feel that no one else on Earth can find you in this place, that you are in this huge hole alone. In a very physical and mental way, I felt so separated from the wonderful, fulfilling love that I had come to know in my husband. The darkness the loss created was very hard to see in, so I allowed myself for a short time to be overcome by its isolation.

The danger that resting too long in this first stage of grief is that the isolation will become permanent. It will eventually separate us from the one person who can help us. Somehow, even in our weakness we must find a way to conquer this negative emotion so we can begin the process of rebuilding our life. What we must do is replace the love we lost with God’s love. This perfect love is the only love that will begin to show us a pathway to rebuild what we lost.

One example of how we should grieve comes from a study of Job. He lost so much as God allowed Satan to test his faith. He must have felt the same separation as I did when his friends, who wished to console him, sat with him in silence.

Job 2:11-13

   ¹¹Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him.

   ¹²And when they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle, and sprinkled dust upon their heads toward heaven.

   ¹³So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.

Another important thing to note about grief is the period of time we spend in mourning. These friends took seven days, one week, or the same amount of time that God took to create this wonderful world we live in….to sit in silence with Job…to allow him to process the loss.  Other examples of grief time are throughout the bible, such as in the story of Joseph or the burial of Aaron.

Genesis 37:33-34

³³And he knew it, and said, It is my son's coat; an evil beast hath devoured him; Joseph is without doubt rent in pieces.

   ³⁴And Jacob rent his clothes, and put sackcloth upon his loins, and mourned for his son many days.

Numbers 20:29:

   ²⁹And when all the congregation saw that Aaron was dead, they mourned for Aaron thirty days, even all the house of Israel.

Even the great King David understood that staying in your grief too long was not the answer to moving forward. He grieved for his sick son while there was still life, but soon after the child was proclaimed dead, he washed himself and tried to find a new starting place.

2 Samuel 12: 19-24

¹⁹But when David saw that his servants whispered, David perceived that the child was dead: therefore David said unto his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead.

   ²⁰Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the LORD, and worshipped: then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat.

   ²¹Then said his servants unto him, What thing is this that thou hast done? thou didst fast and weep for the child, while it was alive; but when the child was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread.

   ²²And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?

   ²³But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.

   ²⁴And David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and went in unto her, and lay with her: and she bare a son, and he called his name Solomon: and the LORD loved him.

Now is the time to embrace the love of God. You must lean on him as you leaned on this loved one you miss so much. Let God fill the deep hole that grief has created little by little with his amazing love for you. And as he fills this void created by loss, your grief will change direction. It will become a source of strength. It will give you new insight to scriptures that you have read many times. And as God fills in the deep hole that threatens to separate you from him, you will climb back into the light. You will see new purpose and understand how important it is to ‘wash, and anoint yourself, and change your apparel, and come into the house of the LORD, and worship.’