Day
30 Live
Time has helped to ease some of the pain by now,
but….you will have days….days that no matter what you do…a gray cloud of
loneliness and depression will hurl you into a pity party. The mere memory of your storm will renew the
fear that started the day you were forced into the storm of your life. You have mastered the art of laughter,
believed with all your heart that God has your back, allowed the fellowship of
your wonderful friends to seep into your soul and slowly amaze you with the
strength you have built. You will feel in your heart that you are strong…able
to venture out on your own…able to handle the world and anything it can throw
at you. Beware…the pity party lurks just
around the corner…ready to pounce on your newfound spirit.
I found myself in one recently…even after I had
written a devotional about balance.
Truth is that the Devil will stop at nothing to take your joy…he will attack you in the simplest of forms…slither
in from his hiding place at just the right time…when he knows you are the
weakest.
The day was nothing special. The long trip out of
town to transfer a 401K into an IRA wasn’t too bad. The quick stop over at the Christian book
store was even a bit uplifting. After all, I did find a great frame on sale
with one of my favorite verses. You would think that Jeremiah 29:11 would stave
off any bout of sadness, but somewhere between the quick lunch with my son and
the failed attempt to shop, the pity party started. I think it was the third
pair of pants that didn’t fit, or maybe it was the $75.00 price tag on a really
cute shirt that did fit…( no way was I spending that much money on anything)…
or could it have been the fact that once again I was trying to fill my
loneliness with a meaningless task? God
tried to warn me…the frame clearly said, “ I know the plans I have for you,
plans to prosper not to harm….”
God plans for us to live….live productive lives that
have purpose and meaning. Ruth found
purpose in working, in gleaning the leftover grains for her mother-in-law. Boaz even directed his servants to make sure
she found enough to sustain Naomi in her
need.
Ruth
2:16:
16And let fall also some of the handfuls of purpose for her,
and leave them, that she may glean them, and rebuke her not.
Jesus saw the purpose in the costly perfume poured
out on his feet by Mary. He saw the
humility of her heart as she sacrificed the most expensive thing she owned to
show her savior how much she loved him.
Matthew 26
1And it came to pass, when Jesus had finished all these sayings, he said unto his disciples,
2Ye know that after two days is the feast of the passover, and the Son of man is betrayed to be crucified.
3Then assembled together the chief priests, and the scribes, and the elders of the people, unto the palace of the high priest, who was called Caiaphas,
4And consulted that they might take Jesus by subtilty, and kill him.
5But they said, Not on the feast day, lest there be an uproar among the people.
6Now when Jesus was in Bethany, in the house of Simon the leper,
7There came unto him a woman having an alabaster box of very precious ointment, and poured it on his head, as he sat at meat.
8But when his disciples saw it, they had indignation, saying, To what purpose is this waste?
9For this ointment might have been sold for much, and given to the poor.
10When Jesus understood it, he said unto them, Why trouble ye the woman? for she hath wrought a good work upon me.
11For ye have the poor always with you; but me ye have not always.
12For in that she hath poured this ointment on my body, she did it for my burial.
I too must live…I must find purpose to move
forward. And as I search…I will need to
fight off that pity party when it comes.
God gave the frame…the frame…the one that has the verse I need to
remember...the one from Jeremiah that tells me God does have a purpose for me…and
will show me his plans for me…in his time.
That frame is still in the car…I guess I need to get it out and put a
picture in it…..set it somewhere where I will see it every day. Maybe I will leave it empty…as a reminder
that God has not forgotten me. Maybe I
need to leave it in the car…on my front seat…as a reminder that God is always
with me…and all I have to do is follow him. No, I think I will place a large
question mark on the back of the picture in it…and pray that God never let me
forget to live each day…one at a time...each day providing a bit of the new
purpose he has for my life without Mitchell.
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